Tell It like It Is.....
Tell It like It Is.....
Snow.....
Can I handle the cold? Would I be able to acclimatise?
Maybe if I stand outside next to the heating unit that blows the cold, air in my PJ's, in the middle of the night, and see what happens.....
Do they pay well at the ski resorts? Will they pay relocation. I would lose the car....
MOVING
Regardless of where I move, it will cost.
Snow fields are relatively close, probably not too much.
Darwin....mmmmm......hot.....long way, lots of stuff, no guarantee of work...no contacts...good hot...
ITALY
Why the fuck not?
Need more assurances fron Joe that I can get work, living space, language barrier.....why the fuck not?
HOW DO I FEEL?
A bit sad - a bit angry, not as much as I thought
Lost - where do I go from here?
Disappointed
Really sad actually
Inadequate - is that an emotion?
Not really sure - kind of sorry for myself because I fell short of their requirements
SAD because I liked working there and I've got to know a lot of the people
You make connections in jobs like mine and it hurts to walk away
The thing that really hurts is that in 6 months, they'll all forget who I was and any influence I might have had on them
TRANSIENT
Feeling pretty upset
Confused
Not knowing what the future holds
Very alone, lonely, alone
Objectified - used - fucked up - sad
Need to talk to **** **** and ***** ****** and let them know that although I'm sad, I do understand the decision that was made. They were on the selection committee and the person that was at the club today didn't make eye contact or talk to me for the whole day. Maybe they feel guilty....If they feel it was the best decision for the club then they shouldn't feel guilty...or should they....
How do I get over being sad and not having it be the end of the world for me?
How can I turn this into a positive?
Is this much introspection harmful?
How do I stop failing?
TRANSIENCE
I have no roots, no where to call home
No stability - at 35 years of age
No home
No family of my own - besides my Mum and Dad who are totally insane (really they are totally insane) but are everything to me
No plan for the future
No idea of where I fit in
I sort of found a niche and almost kept it - I had them fooled for a while and then they finally saw through it
I'm scared I'll never fit in
Shit, I'm scared
How do I deal with it?
Can I fix it?
What am I doing wrong?
What am I doing right?
Do I continue feeling sorry for myself?
Or do I make the necessary changes that are positive?
Stupid.
Of course I make changes.
Snow.....
Can I handle the cold? Would I be able to acclimatise?
Maybe if I stand outside next to the heating unit that blows the cold, air in my PJ's, in the middle of the night, and see what happens.....
Do they pay well at the ski resorts? Will they pay relocation. I would lose the car....
MOVING
Regardless of where I move, it will cost.
Snow fields are relatively close, probably not too much.
Darwin....mmmmm......hot.....long way, lots of stuff, no guarantee of work...no contacts...good hot...
ITALY
Why the fuck not?
Need more assurances fron Joe that I can get work, living space, language barrier.....why the fuck not?
HOW DO I FEEL?
A bit sad - a bit angry, not as much as I thought
Lost - where do I go from here?
Disappointed
Really sad actually
Inadequate - is that an emotion?
Not really sure - kind of sorry for myself because I fell short of their requirements
SAD because I liked working there and I've got to know a lot of the people
You make connections in jobs like mine and it hurts to walk away
The thing that really hurts is that in 6 months, they'll all forget who I was and any influence I might have had on them
TRANSIENT
Feeling pretty upset
Confused
Not knowing what the future holds
Very alone, lonely, alone
Objectified - used - fucked up - sad
Need to talk to **** **** and ***** ****** and let them know that although I'm sad, I do understand the decision that was made. They were on the selection committee and the person that was at the club today didn't make eye contact or talk to me for the whole day. Maybe they feel guilty....If they feel it was the best decision for the club then they shouldn't feel guilty...or should they....
How do I get over being sad and not having it be the end of the world for me?
How can I turn this into a positive?
Is this much introspection harmful?
How do I stop failing?
TRANSIENCE
I have no roots, no where to call home
No stability - at 35 years of age
No home
No family of my own - besides my Mum and Dad who are totally insane (really they are totally insane) but are everything to me
No plan for the future
No idea of where I fit in
I sort of found a niche and almost kept it - I had them fooled for a while and then they finally saw through it
I'm scared I'll never fit in
Shit, I'm scared
How do I deal with it?
Can I fix it?
What am I doing wrong?
What am I doing right?
Do I continue feeling sorry for myself?
Or do I make the necessary changes that are positive?
Stupid.
Of course I make changes.
posted by Movin'on at 5:10 AM
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