Tell It like It Is.....
Wireless...
I finally got a laptop and wireless connection. It needs some work but so far, I like the idea of being able to log on anywhere - mostly - to find out something I am wondering about. Maybe that isn't such a great thing. Sometimes I get so sidetracked looking for something in particular that I miss it entirely and end up finding something completely different.
It's been ages since I've been here, but it feels good to be back.
So much is changing in my life and so much still needs to change. I want so much and yet have so much that I don't want. I need more, yet have so much that I don't need - sigh.
I have been seeing this guy for a few weeks....he is really, really nice, so nice that he's driving me totally insane. Why can't I like a nice guy? He's kind, and considerate, earns a good living, is kind of arty, really creative. BUT, he's not cool. Not quite right. A nerd at heart, and very clingy. I need to dump him, but don't want to hurt his feelings, although we've only been seeing each other for a short time so dumping him now shouldn't be a heart breaking experience. I wonder if he's ever had a relationship with a woman before, in fact, I wonder if he's supposed to be gay and hasn't figured it out. I have been nasty to him, not really meaning it, but hoping he'll react with something fiery, passionate, critical. And yet, if he did, I still wouldn't want him.
I so miss the one I had and yet don't know what where we would've ended up if we'd had the chance.
Not having choices makes me crazy. Not being the one to say yay or nay drives me mad. Having control taken away from me yet not being in control is so hard to be.
Who or what the hell am I supposed to be? Is there a destiny in store for us all, or do we truly make our destiny? Pseudo control is not what I thought it would be.
Letting go doesn't get you anywhere either....sigh.
It's good to be back.
:-)
I finally got a laptop and wireless connection. It needs some work but so far, I like the idea of being able to log on anywhere - mostly - to find out something I am wondering about. Maybe that isn't such a great thing. Sometimes I get so sidetracked looking for something in particular that I miss it entirely and end up finding something completely different.
It's been ages since I've been here, but it feels good to be back.
So much is changing in my life and so much still needs to change. I want so much and yet have so much that I don't want. I need more, yet have so much that I don't need - sigh.
I have been seeing this guy for a few weeks....he is really, really nice, so nice that he's driving me totally insane. Why can't I like a nice guy? He's kind, and considerate, earns a good living, is kind of arty, really creative. BUT, he's not cool. Not quite right. A nerd at heart, and very clingy. I need to dump him, but don't want to hurt his feelings, although we've only been seeing each other for a short time so dumping him now shouldn't be a heart breaking experience. I wonder if he's ever had a relationship with a woman before, in fact, I wonder if he's supposed to be gay and hasn't figured it out. I have been nasty to him, not really meaning it, but hoping he'll react with something fiery, passionate, critical. And yet, if he did, I still wouldn't want him.
I so miss the one I had and yet don't know what where we would've ended up if we'd had the chance.
Not having choices makes me crazy. Not being the one to say yay or nay drives me mad. Having control taken away from me yet not being in control is so hard to be.
Who or what the hell am I supposed to be? Is there a destiny in store for us all, or do we truly make our destiny? Pseudo control is not what I thought it would be.
Letting go doesn't get you anywhere either....sigh.
It's good to be back.
:-)
posted by Movin'on at 5:46 AM
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home