I should have known it was coming.............
Fuck, fuck fuck fuck.
That's another one that bites the dust. MCITG called to break up with me this morning. I kinda felt something like this would happen. He had an "old friend" come to stay with him and I am surmising that it is an old girlfriend and he's gotten back with her. I realise that it is only speculation, but it was girl, and he has broken up with me, so, I am jumping to the only conclusion a hurt and confused girl would.
Sad, and will get sadder. I was really having fun with this guy. He made me laugh and I thought we had a lot in common.
I always manage to fuck things up.
Will hit another low point for a while now. Already have started throwing up.
Each time I promise myself
That this time I won't care
Each time I try to steel my heart
Get ready, to prepare
This time I won't let him in
This time I'll take it slow
This time I'll be nonchalant
Not let my feelings show
This time I will walk away
With my soul intact
This time I will see what's real
What's true, only the facts
I'll not fool myself, I'll get the gist
Keep my felings in reserve
Then fate steps in and what do you know?
I get what I deserve
What follows is self loathing
Reproach and black despair
Another long struggle back
To a place where I don't care
I've had enough, it's got to stop
I can't take it anymore
No home, no life, no sex, or friends
Each time I end up like before
It's getting harder everytime
To climb out of this abyss
I should just stay there, lonely, alone
There's nothing I"m going to miss
That's another one that bites the dust. MCITG called to break up with me this morning. I kinda felt something like this would happen. He had an "old friend" come to stay with him and I am surmising that it is an old girlfriend and he's gotten back with her. I realise that it is only speculation, but it was girl, and he has broken up with me, so, I am jumping to the only conclusion a hurt and confused girl would.
Sad, and will get sadder. I was really having fun with this guy. He made me laugh and I thought we had a lot in common.
I always manage to fuck things up.
Will hit another low point for a while now. Already have started throwing up.
Each time I promise myself
That this time I won't care
Each time I try to steel my heart
Get ready, to prepare
This time I won't let him in
This time I'll take it slow
This time I'll be nonchalant
Not let my feelings show
This time I will walk away
With my soul intact
This time I will see what's real
What's true, only the facts
I'll not fool myself, I'll get the gist
Keep my felings in reserve
Then fate steps in and what do you know?
I get what I deserve
What follows is self loathing
Reproach and black despair
Another long struggle back
To a place where I don't care
I've had enough, it's got to stop
I can't take it anymore
No home, no life, no sex, or friends
Each time I end up like before
It's getting harder everytime
To climb out of this abyss
I should just stay there, lonely, alone
There's nothing I"m going to miss
posted by Movin'on at 4:55 PM
3 Comments:
Wow, that sucks. Um...won't give you any 'soothing advice' for now, coz it's not the time.
Hope you're doing ok.
Hugs,
E
Sorry to hear that MO, it's his loss.
Reading this is just heartbreaking - I remember these same feelings so vividly. Very hard in the midst of the storm not to blame yourself. Eventually I figured out that all I could do was be true to myself, love entirely -because that is the only way I can - and risk getting my heart broken, which always sucks. The odds are in our favor - eventually one of the toads we kiss has to become a prince. Godspeed getting through this valley - Stace
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