Life goes up, life goes down.......

I am on a real downer at the moment. I just feel like giving in. I get like this when I go through any sort of crisis, big or small. The runaway instinct is hurting me badly, and when I'm trapped, like now, I go to the other extreme, and I want to hurt myself.
I predict that I will have a cold sore in the next couple of days, I will lose about 5 k's in the next two weeks, and I will be fighting big time with the boss. On top of that, I'll start drinking heavily again, and be smoking a hell of a lot of cigarettes and pot.
I think it's a form of self abuse. I get what I deserve.