Tell It like It Is.....
Where to from here?
Like the song says, do I stay or do I go now.
I almost got fired yesterday. I am a right bitch to live with, and a right bitch to work with.
I have been told. A weeks annual leave, well really 9 days annual leave, time off to find myself somewhere to live, and to think about whether I want to continue to work where I work. I have pages of thoughts to write here, but my most pressing dilemma is what to do about now.
I have no idea if I want to continue working for my BBB, but I do know that I can't live with him if I work there.
I am drunk now, but have been drunk for a lot of my life, and no sobriety has made any decisions easier. If I get fired, I have again made sure that I fail. The only sure thing in my life so far, is that I fail. I can fail at anything, that's kind of comforting. It means that if I try to die, then maybe I will fail.
Is there other people out there that think about killing themselves every minute of every day as much as I do? The best way is to slice through the artery in the leg, there's no going back from there.
This damn curser is blinking at me like I have something else to add, there's nothing else, I want to die. I don't want to live. I fucking don't see the point.
Thanks for reading, if I wake up tomorrow, it's a good day, because I haven't yet done what I am destined to do. I see it as my destiny, because I am fucked if I can see any reason to postpone the inevitable.
I just hope it makes the papers............
Like the song says, do I stay or do I go now.
I almost got fired yesterday. I am a right bitch to live with, and a right bitch to work with.
I have been told. A weeks annual leave, well really 9 days annual leave, time off to find myself somewhere to live, and to think about whether I want to continue to work where I work. I have pages of thoughts to write here, but my most pressing dilemma is what to do about now.
I have no idea if I want to continue working for my BBB, but I do know that I can't live with him if I work there.
I am drunk now, but have been drunk for a lot of my life, and no sobriety has made any decisions easier. If I get fired, I have again made sure that I fail. The only sure thing in my life so far, is that I fail. I can fail at anything, that's kind of comforting. It means that if I try to die, then maybe I will fail.
Is there other people out there that think about killing themselves every minute of every day as much as I do? The best way is to slice through the artery in the leg, there's no going back from there.
This damn curser is blinking at me like I have something else to add, there's nothing else, I want to die. I don't want to live. I fucking don't see the point.
Thanks for reading, if I wake up tomorrow, it's a good day, because I haven't yet done what I am destined to do. I see it as my destiny, because I am fucked if I can see any reason to postpone the inevitable.
I just hope it makes the papers............
posted by Movin'on at 6:32 AM
4 Comments:
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Ok - I deleted the comment I left because I decided it wasn't fair on you to leave it here. I've emailed it to you instead. You know where I am if you want to talk.
big fat kisses. No karaoke but we can still get drunk.
Totally, we are organising something right now.
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